Lapis Love

Hi, I’m Lapis!Lapis Love is a queer adult self-published author focusing on romance novels. She has been writing for the majority of her life and aspires to keep evolving in her style, but the one thing that stays the same is her focus on exploring love between friends, family, and romantic partners.Her other hobbies include adoring her two cats and her wife, playing lighthearted video games, watching a good amount of cooking shows and anime, and reading manga and danmei.

If you'd like to read any of the books I feel shaped my imagination and my love of writing:

Commission Information

To submit a commission request, please fill out all details in the contact form at the bottom, or email me directly at [email protected]
You can also find commission info on my linked kofi and contact me there or through Bluesky

Writing Style Examples:

• AO3 fanfiction
• Backfire of a Gun
• Mistaken
• Secret

Welcome to the page for bonus content and fun facts about my book, Soul Piece, that took 10 years to write, rewrite, and write again! Though a lot has changed from my original ideas for it, much of it has stayed the same.These pages contain spoilers for the book!

• Main Characters
• Art
• Playlists
• Commentary
• Other Content

Art by Autocon21

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Soul Piece Commentary

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First Concept:

The original concept for Soul Piece began with a blend of otome game thoughts, which I was obsessed with at the time, and the want to explore different character types as up until then, most of what I wrote was fanfiction.At first, the opening was Mia and Layton at a wedding alter, about to get married, when Echo suddenly appears and shows her all the timelines that could have been, and that marrying Layton always led to the worst ones.I even remember detailing that in some timelines, Mia was a big CEO and in others she was the leader of a gang or something, but the ones with Layton were always awful!The first time I rewrote the book was to remove such an intense beginning, because how could you date so easily after leaving someone at the altar? So I toned it down a couple notches.Now that I've read a lot more genres from different countries, I think it could have made a fantastic 'rebirth' story, but I'm satisfied with how it turned out. Besides, with Mia being how she is, I think it would be too obvious to everyone that something's off. She's only an actress on stage.

Fun Facts:

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Backfire of a Gun
A short story by Lapis Love

It had been six months since the small yet catastrophic incident had shaken his entire belief system to the core, as well as his emotions. The full moon that he gazed upon as he thought back mirrored the one he saw the moment he realized nothing could ever be right again, and when he felt the full force of the unintended betrayal he’d brought upon himself.The blame was all on him – he wasn’t careful enough and went against everything he’d been taught growing up. Of course, the one time he followed his heart rather than his head, it shattered more than one person.His ears pricked up as soft footsteps approached, undetectable to anyone else who wasn’t him with his keen senses. The patter was familiar, and there was no need to be on alert.“Are you about ready for the raid tomorrow, Shatter?”He turned to the figure behind him and sighed. “We’re not on duty. We don’t need our code names.”“Fine, Rye,” an auburn-haired man rolled his eyes and sat next to him on the edge of their headquarters’ roof. “You’ve gotten way too touchy and personal since the incident. It’s weird.”“Why?”“Anyone else in that situation would probably rather ditch their actual name,” he shrugged.Rye shook his head. He wanted his team to say his name enough that the sound of her calling it would be just a drop in the bucket. Though it was still painful for him to be referred to it, it was similar to forcefully facing a fear in hopes he would get over it.“I’m not just anyone,” he reminded him. “None of us are, Mason. Not here.”The man sighed and looked up at the moon as well. “We dance on the edge of humanity. Out of all of us here, I’m surprised you wouldn’t ditch it completely. You’re just allowing yourself to be hurt.”“I don’t believe in throwing away our humanity.”“Anymore.”Rye groaned and closed his eyes. “You never fail to poke at any exposed buttons.”“I know you better than anyone. The fact you’re willing to keep even a small memory means a lot more than anyone else understands. She really got to you, huh?”That made his eyes open into narrow slits and he glanced over at him. “Buttons, Mason.”“It’s been six months. I figured it’s been long enough you can talk about what happened.”“I don’t want to.”“But maybe you need to. Especially before we head out tomorrow. What if you run into her?”“And you think talking about her would make it better? It could easily make everything worse, especially if I run into her.”“Rye. If you’re not ditching your human side then you need to vent it out before potentially exploding.”He supposed he could see the point of that. “Fine, but I will not go into full detail. Only a small amount more than the briefing I gave the commander.”Mason agreed. “I’m all ears.”Rye looked back up at the moon and thought to when it all started around a year ago. He’d been undercover as a civilian, trying to get information from a street vendor, when a young woman caught his attention with a shout. His reflexes were what saved him from being plowed into by a falling sunflower in a rather large pot. He easily caught it, his fingertips under the pot brushing with those of the woman carrying it. As soon as she peeked around the plant to see who’d helped her, he was a goner.The name he knew her as was Grace. The lovely Grace with those big indigo eyes and the beautiful smile that made his heart melt for the first time in his life. She was nervously apologetic, and he’d found himself helping carry that giant sunflower back to her apartment. The fact she didn’t seem worried at all about a stranger coming to her home seemed a bit irregular, but she was already blinding him like the sun and he couldn’t bring himself to question it.They fell in love quickly. Or at least, he did. After everything, he wasn’t sure if her feelings were ever real, but he sincerely hoped they were since she seemed just as clueless and shocked as he was when the incident happened.Over six months, they grew closer and closer, and he neglected his scouting and missions more and more, often making dumb excuses and avoiding others from his team. He hid her from his world of espionage, secrets, and brutality, though he could never let down his guard completely in public.But in private, he loved. He found a lot of himself he didn’t know he had, having not known anything until then about who he was as an individual.Rye had been born into a mercenary group that tried their best to protect their country. As he grew up, he’d gotten his hands extremely dirty, getting rid of both the guilty and innocent as long as the client’s intentions aligned with his commander’s. But the longer he was with Grace, the more he regained his conscience and began to regret some of his actions and gain a sense of empathy; what if it was her he was ordered to take out?And then six months ago, he agreed on his first assignment in ages. Out of the shadows appeared another mercenary group, one that had been seemingly inactive for years, and their leader seemed set on getting rid of all the clients his own commander had been in contact with.It became increasingly clear that group was following the trail to his organization, and Rye wanted to stop them before they began to potentially find their members and attack them and their loved ones.They had guessed correctly on the opposing group’s next target and Rye was lying in wait when someone broke into the lavish villa their client owned. He wasn’t able to save him, as the masked opponent had a gun and incredible aim to have gotten a successful shot at the one slim area the client hadn’t been layered with bulletproof material, but Rye was able to follow the attacker outside to try to either capture or kill.What he didn’t expect was how his enemy’s eyes widened in the bright moonlight on seeing him emerge from the house, but he took the opportunity to lunge and knock away the held weapon.Rye managed to trap them in a firm grip, and right when he wondered how they’d made it so far as a mercenary if they were so easy to capture, he removed the mask over their face to reveal the woman who’d completely stolen his heart with tears in her eyes.The lovers both froze in that moment, Grace’s arms crossed behind her with her wrists in his firm grasp, her head tilting forward in either shame, despair, or both, and Rye’s mouth fell open in shock with no words managing to escape.Time started up again when Grace firmly stomped down on his foot, jabbed herself back into him to slam her head up harshly against his chin, and wiggled out of his grasp. She didn’t say a word as she sprinted away without her gun or another glance back.That was the last time Rye saw any trace of her. He’d even returned to the apartment they shared for three months to see if she’d been there. Probably not, or else the ring he’d gotten her might’ve been at least moved from its hiding place, and the sunflower and other plants they’d gotten together would’ve been watered. She wouldn’t willingly let plants suffer, no matter what occupation she had.As he finished the brief recollection with choked words, he looked over at his teammate, almost shocked at the watery eyes that met his.“You were going to ask her to marry you?” Mason asked, incredulous.Rye nodded solemnly. “I was. I’d planned to do it as soon as we took that group down.”“The irony…”“Shut up.”“I can’t believe you didn’t just clam up your emotions and turn into an even more dangerous weapon.”Rye looked down at his clenched hands. “I can’t bring myself to harden into that again. I wish I could, but despite her turning out as our enemy, I felt better embracing my emotions than having them go numb for too many years to count, to the point I doubted I was a human. I should feel guilt any time I kill. I should feel remorse for lives lost. I need to feel the pain of the loss and anger at my own mistakes. I can never return to who I was before I met Grace.”“You should have killed her when you had the chance,” another voice rang over the rooftop, the undetected approach only able to be pulled off by one person.The men stood quickly and their arms went to their sides. “Commander,” they greeted simultaneously.In front of them stood a middle-aged woman with brown hair and hardened green eyes that focused on Rye. “Grace is a weakness and I didn’t train you for having any vulnerabilities. You should have been able to kill her.”Mason opened his mouth and tried to speak in Rye’s defense, knowing it was near-impossible for the man to argue himself. “But-““Quiet.” The commander stopped in front of the man in her focus, looking down at him firmly before melting into a softer stance and putting her hand on his shoulder. “Rye, you need to put away your feelings. If you don’t, you will either feel endless guilt and remorse from killing her directly, or fury at one of us finishing her off. It should have been a blind kill when you first caught her. I didn’t raise you to hesitate.”“But Mother-““I’ve put away my emotions for this mission. Their leader is my own ex-lover, and is following through with her attempt to get her revenge.”“What are the odds of that?!” Mason gasped, clasping his hands over his mouth quickly at her glare.She ignored him and continued. “Grace is her daughter’s best friend, and they will be as tight-knit a team as we are. Guilt has no place in the world of mercenaries. If you hesitate for a moment, you will be killed. Therefore, you must kill first. It’s as simple as that.”Rye sighed deeply and nodded, seeing the reason in her words. “Yes, Mother.”“You will lead the raid beside me. I suggest finding and killing her quickly out of mercy.”He winced at the thought but ultimately knew it would be the best outcome. It was better than one of their unknowing members to torture her before ending her life. He just tried not to imagine any of the outcomes.

The next day found him two steps behind their commander, the full team of ten dressed to blend in with the early morning’s darkness with their signature identifying masks. His own had several painted cracks along it for his code name of ‘Shatter’, and he was equipped with two curved daggers and two guns strapped to his hips.Every step closer to the enemy base made him more and more apprehensive, but he knew it needed to be done. Kill or be killed. A life to save a life. It was the mercenary way.It was a piece of cake for ‘Mouse’ and ‘Crash’ to hack the video cameras on the rival’s base, and two seconds for ‘Click’ to get the doors opened. They raided their headquarters silently and carefully, using any bits of intel they got from spying along with the inside knowledge of the commander. It was a very similar layout to what she had predicted.Shatter’s heart raced as they got further in. He both dreaded and hoped that he found his love first. A mercy kill was all that was on his mind, and then he planned on leaving this life forever. He was ready for that part of himself to die with Grace. Maybe if he was lucky, one of her teammates would kill him too. Maybe they would strike finishing blows on each other.“Intruders!” came a shout down a hall, followed by the sounds of several scrambling footsteps.“Remember, protect Darling,” a woman’s crackling voice ordered before coming into view with the turning on of lights. In front of the invading team was a long corridor, with a tall woman with strawberry blonde hair and black eyes standing at the end. “So, it seems our prey has come to us.”“The prey became the hunters, Jane,” their own commander spat. “Now your team will die just because you had the nerve for so-called vengeance.”“So-called? You tried to kill me and my child because I don’t see the world as black and white as you,” she hissed. “It took me years for my body to recover fully and for me to be strong enough again to take you down. Now, which one is your precious son? I would love to take him down first. Inflict some damage on any remaining emotions you might have.”“My son has someone specific to take care of. Your opponent will be me, and we’ll see whose values prevail.”“As if that’s what this is about anymore,” Jane scoffed, taking out an extending rod and rushing forward to meet the commander, who ran towards her at the exact same time. Using that as the signal to begin, the teams of mercenaries began to fight, somehow equally powered for the most part, leading to longer fights than anticipated. None of the opposing team had their masks, making it easy for Shatter to determine none of these people were who he was looking for.He didn’t bother with them, weaving through the battle easily as if he could sense each potential hit before it came at him, thinking only of Grace.Where was she? Where was his beloved?He made it down the hall and was confused at the anxious looking pair in front of a half closed door.They tightened their grips on spears they held, their free hands crossing in front of the door. “You have no business here,” a woman, clearly the daughter of their leader but with eerily similar looks as himself, hissed at him.“We will defend Darling with our lives,” a magenta-haired man agreed, moving himself even more in front of the door. The only thing imposing about him was his muscular build, but his expression was full of too much panic to seem threatening. “You’ve got black and white morals, right? Keep moving.”“Where is Grace?” Rye asked, raising his blades in a fighting stance.Their eyes widened. “How do you know our Darling’s name?!” the daughter looked even more anxious and suspicious, her grip tightening even more on her weapon.So, Grace was in there? He clearly had quite the fight on his hands, but he had to get to her. The two in front of him were difficult opponents despite how they looked, but Rye had clearly been trained harder. He didn’t kill them yet; he was dead-set on his target and only knocked them nearly unconscious. If they bled out from their wounds, that was their own problem.As he opened the door, a weak grip wrapped around his ankle and looked down at the daughter glaring at him still. “You… You can’t kill her…”He shook his head and took off his mask; he wasn’t going to hide his identity from his love when he went to end it all. “I have to.”Those eyes, so similar to his, widened. “Y-You’re…”“Rye,” rang the sweet voice his ears had missed immensely as he opened the door even more. It was a dark room, but he knew she was in there. He felt around for a switch, and when he turned on the light, he was struck dumbfounded.It seemed this was an infirmary of sorts, and on it was unmistakably Grace, rolled on her side and facing the door with her arm cradled over her rounded stomach. Her eyes were narrowed and she appeared extremely tired, and as she made an attempt to sit up, she took out a gun from under her pillow.Rye knew for a fact she had good aim, but she was so weak she couldn’t even hold the weapon properly, sighing and putting it next to her before laying back down and closing her eyes. “If you’re going to kill us, then do it. I’d rather it be you than anyone else.”He couldn’t bring himself to ask any questions, but the earlier comment about black and white virtues was right – he wasn’t about to kill a pregnant woman. However, he wasn’t against stealing her.“Come,” Rye put down his weapons and held out his hand. “Please come with me.”“I won’t betray my team,” she shook her head with all the strength she could. “I couldn’t work for you.”“You don’t have to. I’m finished. Run away with me, Grace.”“I… I can’t.”“Do it,” rasped the woman on the ground next to him. She held her hand up to her throat and coughed enough for her voice to clear. “I have to stay, but you don’t have to stay for me anymore. You were never supposed to get your hands dirty or become our greatest weapon. My mother is using you, and she’ll use your baby.”Grace’s hand went to her stomach again and her face twisted with worry. “Okay, Rita.”Rye swiftly approached her, knocking her gun to the floor just in case this was a ruse, and helped her off the medical bed. It felt painfully good to be touching her again, and the aching of his heart eased at her relaxed and docile look. This was very different than the killer he’d encountered under the moonlight. This was once again the woman he loved.“I never stopped thinking about you,” Grace admitted quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck and sighing with contentment as soon as her cheek nestled against his chest.As she did, Rye knew that whether she was pregnant or not, there was no way he could have brought himself to kill her. He would rather die first. And so, he secured his grip and leapt out the window, leaving only the two guarding the room knowing what the outcome was.A few minutes after leaving the other way, there was a loud explosion that made him turn back for a moment, and they both gasped as they watched the room Grace had been kept in now in chunks and engulfed in flames.“Rita set a grenade,” Grace guessed in a tired mutter.“Good. They’ll assume we’re dead.”“Mm.”As the sun rose to greet the day filled with bloodshed, the lovers returned to their apartment as the first stop in their plans for the future. Rye didn’t regret leaving his team, even his mother – the only family he’d ever felt he truly had was the one willingly pliant in his arms. He couldn’t fathom making the same mistakes as his predecessor; the only thing that he felt should truly matter in the world, that should be put before everything else, was love.

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Mistaken Identity (Drabble)

It was the first activity night at the old event center that Sarah had gone to in years. There were some old, friendly faces she recognized and was able to chit-chat pleasantly with, but there were far more unfamiliar faces surrounding her that made her feel like she was drowning.Yes, she’d been gone far too long, and it was a struggle to find footing again in the event she was once an avid part of. Her old friends there had grouped in with others, and it was too awkward to intrude on.She felt as if she was thrown back in time to being a new student transferred in the middle of a school year when circles and cliques had already been formed. But here, they were all adults, and she tried to push down her anxiety.There were only two new people she managed to talk to before the event ended, and as she waited for her partner to pick her up and bring her home, she saw the flash of a familiar face she hadn’t seen initially.She moved towards that area, and her eyes lit up on the sight of a young woman with her back facing her. Long blond hair fell in small hooped curls, and Sarah was certain she’d memorized those exact curls years ago in the junior events group.“Ira,” she called gently, frowning when the woman in front of her didn’t turn to answer.Maybe she hadn’t spoken loudly enough?She gently tapped on the shoulder and put on a wide, confident smile. “Ira!”The woman turned, instantly revealing a sharper face than the one she used to know, set with thin lips and green eyes, her tanned skin lacking the freckles she used to map out.This was not, in fact, Ira.“I’m so sorry,” Sarah apologized frantically when the unknown woman gave her a confused look. “I thought you were my old friend.”“Oh, sorry but I don’t know you,” she replied with a small shake of her head before breaking into a small grin. “But I could, if you want. I noticed you’re a little new.”“Not new, just… I’m rejoining. Readjusting,” she tried to explain. “I used to come to these events a lot a decade ago.”The woman laughed. “A decade might as well be a lifetime for something like this, right? No worries. I’ve been here for about five years. My name’s Leslie.”“Ah! Sarah,” she introduced herself, sticking her hand out to give the offered one a shake. “Do you possibly know Ira?”“I did! She hasn’t been around for the last few months. I’m sorry if you were planning on seeing her.”To be honest, Ira wasn’t at the forefront of her mind or heart anymore, that space taken completely by her partner. She’d just thought it would be nice to see her, say hi, maybe chat and re-spark their friendship. However, it wasn’t as if it was something she had been set on upon joining again.“It’s alright. It might’ve been nice, but she wasn’t why I came here,” she finally replied.Her phone soon buzzed in her pocket, and she took it out to see an arrival text from her significant other. She opened up her contacts list with a shy smile and held out the device.“If you don’t mind, Leslie, could I get your phone number? I’d love to get to know you a little better when I’m not making someone wait,” she asked with nervous laughter.The woman beamed and swiftly took it, typing in her name, number, and where they met in the notes. It was clear she was likely used to that, but her popularity didn’t deter Sarah one bit.“Thanks! I’ll chat with you later, then.” She turned away, but then looked back and gave a wave. “It was nice to meet you!”“Nice to meet you too, Sarah!”

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The following characters are from an original work of mine called "Heart vs Mind (Aria's List of Lovers)".

Secret (Drabble)

One knock. Three more fast ones, and then two more slow. Aria’s heart began to quicken as she raced to the door of her dressing room, throwing it open and pulling her visitor inside before anyone could take much notice.It wasn’t like it would be all that suspicious. No one would bat an eye at a lifelong friend and hired sound technician going to see his singer friend after a performance.The thing was, she didn’t want anyone realizing how frequent it was. How long the visits were. How often they appeared back on the tour bus only minutes apart, several witnesses giving opposing statements on which room her friend had emerged from.She didn’t want outsiders to think about them at all to the point of wondering, and then questioning. They’d spent their lives denying anything between them. It was the ideal close friendship that broke a lot of stereotypes, that they were proud of to the point of almost being cocky.There was no way they were prepared to let the world know that what they’d been so proud of had cracked open and evolved into something more. No way to admit to anyone outside their close circle that they’d fallen in love somehow even after seeing each other at their worsts and in their primes, their friendship strained and mended during the worst years in their lives.And of course, tabloids would somehow twist it enough for the truth to be unrecognizable. That was not publicity she needed right now, especially since they already made quite a mess about her relationship with her girlfriend, Carmine, a few months back.She’d much rather focus on the simple things. Like how Gideon’s cool hand slotted in hers, still warm from holding a microphone. How his smile made her heart skip in a way it didn’t used to, his gaze full of affection just for her. How a soft brush of his lips felt against her forehead.“You were amazing out there,” he complimented gently enough that her ears had to strain to pick up his voice, still adjusting from the cheers of the crowd turning into the painful silence of her dressing room.“It was the same set as ever this tour,” she reminded him with a small laugh.“That doesn’t diminish your work during this one.”“Mm, I’ll take it then.” She leaned in and pressed her face against his chest. “Thank you, love.”